The moment you achieve a worthy goal, one which requires you to step out of your comfort zone and grow, you gain confidence you never knew existed. It changes who you are. It makes you believe in yourself in a way that nothing else could. Anything becomes possible because you accomplished a goal that you had no idea of how you would achieve, and yet you crushed it! Nothing can get in the way of your dreams because you learned to look inward to make your dreams a reality.
I know this because it happened to me. In the last 4 years, I’ve achieved 2 major worthy goals and life hasn’t been the same since. First, I reached an emotional threshold with the end of my twenty-four-year marriage. I faced a redefinition of my sense of identity away from my supportive role, as a wife and mother, and a future of financial uncertainty. I drew on my study of the power of the mind to focus on my new life path as a single mom, establish goals, change my own belief systems, habits and self-image and produce the results I desired. My drive to change and grow from this transition also meshed with a desire to set an example for my three teenage children. I wanted them to learn, from my example, that no matter what the circumstance, no matter what challenges you face, you can pursue your dreams and make meaningful changes in your life.
My second goal was to establish Hartuition. I wanted to turn my part-time work in fitness training and nutritional counseling into a full-time career. My goal became even bigger when I decided I wanted to be an entrepreneur and establish my own company. Now this was indeed a “Worthy” goal. There was a lot of doubt and worry, and a nagging voice in my head said, “How are you supposed to do that? You’ve always worked for someone else. You don’t know how to be an entrepreneur…and so on”. At times, the doubt and worry ignited into outright FEAR. I decided to outcry that negative and limiting voice with a louder voice of confidence and determination. I focused on my vision of my company succeeding and serving others. I set a worthy goal that I would go for it even though I didn’t know how I was going to get there. I really had to step into my fear of failure and push through the other side to stretch, learn, and grow towards achieving my goal. And you know what, I did it! Hartuition was born!
Accomplishing both goals had a huge impact on my transitioning life. Although they were two separate goals, both required changes in my beliefs about myself and how I view the world, my daily habits and my self-image. The whole process in achieving both goals took discipline, courage, strategic decision making, creativity, and self- confidence, the degree to which I never knew I had inside of me. The following became my new mantra, and I reflect on it every day:
“Whatever you believe and can conceive, you can achieve!”
Our programming can have a huge impact on our lives. It affects our logic, our relationships, our decision making, our finances, our lifestyle and so much more, and most of the time we’re not even aware it’s affecting us. Have you ever found yourself doing something, knowing you shouldn’t do it, but you do it anyway? That’s called the Knowing/Doing Gap and boy can it be perplexing and frustrating. Why does this happen? Well, it’s caused by our programming, our beliefs, habits and self-image, that has been ingrained in us since we were babies. Our programming causes us to do things without any conscious thought, and that affects the majority of our daily activities. In order to get the results you’re really looking for you have to identify those components of your programming that aren’t serving you well and replace them with productive ones. You’ll never succeed in accomplishing your goals using your old programming. It’s why you keep getting the same results over and over again. New results require new programming. For most of us, that’s not easy to do. We are all creatures of habit, and we like doing things that are comfortable. So, to step outside of that comfort zone and stay there, discipline and repetition of new improved actions is required. Discipline means doing what you need to do when it’s not what you want to do. That’s when change happens.
I haven’t always been a disciplined person. In fact, I struggled a lot with multi-tasking too much, not saying “No” enough, prioritizing and staying focused. This lack of self-discipline caused me to often get the same undesirable results over and over again. This was a major part of my programming I had to change, and I succeeded! I started by establishing priorities and focusing only on undergoing the tasks that will move me towards accomplishing my goals. I started saying, “No” to requests that would distract me from my priorities, and I developed a very focused mindset. If I can do this, so can you!
My programming will always remain within my mind, but I have learned to tame and train it to serve me well. It’s an ongoing process. Discipline played a critical in the achievement of both my goals. In addition, my clients have learned how to apply the strategies I mention below to their daily lives to stay disciplined, focused, motivated to take major steps towards achieving their goals.
Whether you want to release some pounds, establish a more effective workout routine, improve your work productivity, or accomplish any other worthy goal, these strategies can be valuable in helping you get from where you are now to where you want to go. Each of the strategies has become quite powerful in creating discipline and changing my lifestyle. Some of the strategies are very specific action-based while others are a little bit more general. However, each one is intended to help YOU create an environment that supports a positive lifestyle change.
“If you continuously compete with others, you become bitter, but if you continuously compete with yourself, you become better.”
1. Break Your Big Goal Down Into Smaller Incremental Goals
I’m a big picture person. I like to think of my life 5-10 years down the road. However, it’s very easy to let the years go by and 5 years later not even be close to achieving your dreams or worthy goals. I’m sure we can all relate to this. It’s not that we didn’t want to accomplish the big goals, but most big goals need smaller, specific and incremental goals to lead us up the path to fulfillment.
For instance, it’s easy to say “I want to lose 60 pounds”. But then what? The weight is not going to magically disappear because you set that goal. Losing 60lbs (the big goal) is the result of achieving smaller specific goals. For example, a smaller goal to help you achieve the larger of goal of releasing 60lbs, could be better hydration. You could establish a goal to drink 64 ounces of water per day, or you could set a goal to practice more portion control. Specific smaller goals are easier to measure and achieve. If you keep setting and achieving smaller goals then, over time, your 60lb goal will become a reality.
I do encourage everyone to dream big, but to turn those dreams into reality you should set smaller, specific and more incremental goals and focus on your daily habits. What are you doing every single day to achieve those smaller goals? Focusing on the everyday habits, while still keeping your eye on the prize, is where the magic happens.
2. Get Support
I have learned that the biggest obstacle we face in life is ourselves. We have mental programming (our habits, beliefs and self-image) holding us back from being the best versions of ourselves. People and circumstances in our outside world will confront us with ongoing challenges. When they occur, our programming will have complete command over how we perceive the situations. It will either convince us to focus on the negative, buckle under the pressure and cause us to remain just where we are with our current results, or will it encourage us to focus on the positive, consider solutions and view the challenge as a learning opportunity?
If we’re not satisfied with the results we’re getting in our lives, our priority shouldn’t be trying struggle with challenging people and circumstances in our lives, that’s like trying to swim up a rapidly flowing river. Rather. We should observe and respond in a more positive way. This outlook switch can be a difficult task because the change required lies within each of us. We have to change our programming; the limiting beliefs, negative habits and poor self-image components; that are holding us back. This requires discipline, courage and determination. Most people require the assistance of a coach, mentor, therapist or other similar means of support to make a significant and permanent change. I highly encourage you to seek such support.
I have studied the teachings of several wise mentors. Their guidance has helped me immensely in addressing those elements of my programming that are confining me and preventing me from growing into the best version of myself. Once I identified them, I was able to replace them with more positive character elements and draw out the Real Me!
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3. Get Rid of the Clutter
Now let’s talk about the real physical clutter. Clutter creates confusion, and it’s very hard to create change in your life when you are living in chaos. Prior to making changes to your habits, I highly recommend you make it a priority to get rid of all the distracting clutter.
In my experience, environment plays a critical role in the amount of discipline I can create in my life. I can’t function in chaos, or as I like to call it the “hot zone”. When you’re in the “hot zone,” you’re essentially just trying to survive. The house is a mess; you’re running late; the kids are screaming and fighting nonstop; you can’t find anything; there’s nothing to eat for dinner; and the list goes on. Obviously, these things happen, but if you find you’re living in the “hot zone” more often than not then it’s time for a change.
It’s very difficult to create discipline when living day to day in the “hot zone”. Removing the clutter and organizing our physical environment can help us immensely in cooling the zone and adding order to all areas of our lives. My own experience has led me to believe that when people start removing clutter from their homes they actually start to feel the clutter removed from their lives. I make it a priority to keep my home in order. Trust me, I’m not a neat freak, but I do take time to clean and organize. I’m happier and as a result I stay focused on my goals. I believe there is definitely a tie between mental stability and physical environment.
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4. Get Real with Yourself
The first step in making significant and permanent changes in your lifestyle is to take an open and honest look at your current results, determine what kind of results you truly desire and investigate why there is a gap between where you are now in your life and where you want to be. The gap is caused by your programming. I encourage you to start to journal your observations. Acknowledge where you’re at, where you want to go, and what changes do you need to make in your programming to get going! Now, your programming will try to convince you that your status quo is acceptable. It doesn’t want you to change. Ignore it’s nagging voice and discipline yourself to it to be more aligned with your goals. Get out of your own way! Only you can change the direction of your life.
“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”
John C. Maxwell
5. Create a Plan and Put in Writing
The power of a plan! The odds of succeeding in accomplishing your goals increase immensely when you write out your plan. Nobody wakes up in the morning; snaps their fingers, and life changes. You have to strategize and devise a plan. Not just a general plan but an action-based plan for each area of your life you want to change. It doesn’t need to be long and complicated, but you should think it through and write it down.
For example, when starting your weight release journey, you will obviously need a plan for food and exercise. Start by asking yourself these questions:
- What kinds of food will I eat; how much; and what will be the food category proportions?
- When will I go grocery shopping?
- What foods will I prep ahead of time, and when will I make the time to do this?
- What will my exercise routine look like?
- When will I exercise?
Create a plan around those questions. If meal planning sends you over the edge then I highly recommend checking out Plan to Eat or related sites. This website gives you the tools to organize all your recipes, create a speedy, weekly menu, and generate a grocery list based on your menu. The site will give you what you need to put your plan into action. In addition, I recommend you refer to the fitness guidelines provided by the Mayo Clinic or related sites to create a fitness plan. Finally, create a plan to clear the disorganized clutter in your life and keep you out of the “hot zone” and focused on your goals.
Establishing these kinds of plans can seem overwhelming. I highly encourage you to enlist the assistance of a specialist in each of these areas to you create effective, easy to implement plans. Search the internet for helpful sites like the ones above to acquire guidance. At first, it seems like a lot as you overhaul areas of your life, but once you have systems in place everything becomes routine and a natural fit for your new and improved lifestyle.
6. Wake Up Early
I know everyone has different schedules, and it can be a daunting task to change sleeping habits. I have been waking up an hour earlier each day to reflect on my goals and set the priorities for the day. In addition, I catch up on global and local news, exercise and get myself organized. Then I hit the ground running feeling motivated, focused and directed towards my goals. That extra hour in the day helps me be more productive and better disciplined throughout the day. I believe making healthy good choices when you first wake up will trickle down throughout the day.
7. Don’t Get Comfortable
This last strategy is very important but often not considered. Do not get comfortable in your habits and routines. Yes, new routines will get easier through effort and repetition. But remember, it’s easy to fall back into old habits even if those habits brought pain and unhappiness. Those habits were part of your old, established programming which can feel oddly comforting and served a purpose at one point.
Also, remember you worked hard to change yourself and your environment. Maybe you started working with advisors, cleaned out your house, started to meal plan and meal prep every week, implemented a workout routine and made other healthy lifestyle changes. You did everything you were supposed to do to make significant and permanent changes, however, it’s likely the people, places, and things that surround you most likely didn’t change. That’s where it gets hard. You need to learn to function and thrive despite the outside circumstances and people in your life that have remained the same.
“Self-Discipline: Your ability to listen to and take action based on your inner voice; regardless how you feel, outside circumstances or temptations you face; is the key to self-mastery.”
Zero Dean
The Last Word
My final advice is to be content and grateful for the new fabulous person you’ve become, but always set goals and work towards improving yourself. That’s what will keep you growing and moving forward. Life is a continuous discovery and learning opportunity.
I truly believe that every single person has it in them to create discipline in their life and make the changes they need to become a better version of themselves. For some, that’s easy to do, but for most of us, it takes a lot of work. Don’t focus on the work. Make small changes and just get started. Soon those little changes will equal big results. When you start to see the results of your disciplined lifestyle you will want to keep going. I know you can do this because I did it. I believe in you, and as soon as you start to set and achieve goals, you will too.
