Teens and young adults often tell me they’re bombarded with outside factors that have a huge impact on how they see themselves:
- Influences from parents and teachers
- Peer pressures
- Social media and cell phone communications
- Advertising and programming
All of these factors affect how you view yourself and how you interact with the world. I’m sure you can relate!
The Negative Impact of Outside Influences
This onslaught of influences can have a dramatic impact on your self-image, belief systems, and habits. It can also affect:
- your confidence in yourself
- what you consider your capabilities
- the potential you see for yourself
- the degree of success you think you can achieve in all areas of your life.
Following Your Own Vision
It’s difficult to create a vision of who you truly want to be and what you want to achieve in life with all these factors dictating how you should be and how you should live your life.
It’s easy to feel like a puppet on strings, especially if you’re prone to people pleasing and fitting in. Not only is it physically draining, but you’ll often be left feeling manipulated, out of control, resentful and outright violated because you chose to react to outside influences by making decisions and engaging in activities that aren’t aligned with your goals and values.
Staying Focused on Your Goals
One way to stay true to your own goals and values is to plan personal, academic and professional activities daily. But, setting your schedule is useful only if you can manage to align your thoughts, feelings and actions with your plans.
Responding to Temptation
People and circumstances will tempt you to diverge from your schedule to address their priorities rather than your own. They can not only affect the activities you engage in, but they can also affect your decision making and your emotions.
In order to resist this temptation, it’s important to maintain strong, clearly defined convictions about who you are and how you want to live your life.
Remember: just because you’re sometimes bombarded with demands that could influence your use of time, the decisions you make and the values you uphold doesn’t mean you have to say “yes”. You can decide what to engage in, with whom to engage, and what values you want to defend. This is a key component of living an authentic life.
Set Boundaries to Be Authentic
Authenticity is a characteristic that all of us can choose. It’s a practice, an intentional choice of how we want to live every day. It’s the choice to show up and participate, speak honestly to reveal your true self and to be true to your own feelings and beliefs.
To live a life that’s aligned with who you are and what you value, you need to set and maintain boundaries. Boundaries are the mental, emotional and physical borders we put in place to safeguard against being manipulated and violated by others. They convey to others which words, actions and interactions are acceptable… and which are not.
It Takes Courage
Guarding your boundaries and being authentic requires courage. Let others know when they’ve crossed the line. You’ll encounter push back and criticisms, both valid and invalid.
At times, you may feel isolated because you took a stance with your values and made independent decisions while others conformed, and went along with the majority.
Conflicts are bound to arise from time to time. Face them.
If you allow your boundaries to weaken, you run the risk of losing your authenticity and holding your unique self back from the world. Your unexpressed ideas and opinions will remain within you, untested and unaffirmed. This can have a detrimental impact on your self-worth, and over time, this can increase the propensity for depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and tremendous grief.
Stand your ground and let your true self be seen. That’s how you’ll maintain a true connection with others without jeopardizing your authenticity.
Final Thoughts
“I am the master of my fate, the captain of my soul!”
Let these words by poet William Ernest Henley serve as inspiration and a reminder that you don’t need to be driven by what other people want you to feel, think, or act. Instead, take charge of your own destiny, maintain strong boundaries and make choices based on what you feel is the next right move for you.
